DVR Alerts

Post by **FredHuggins** » Fri May 08, 2009 6:20 am

Of all the things to suddenly come back from the grave and reawaken my fear of everything, good god bloody SAFETY PATROL will be airing this month on Disney XD!

What's Safety Patrol, you ask? Safety Patrol was a made-for-TV Disney movie which first aired on ABC in 1998. It was directed by Al's friend Savage Steve Holland, and starred such luminaries as Bug Hall, Lanie Kazan, Curtis "Booger" Armstrong, Ed MacMahon, Leslie Nielsen, and yes, our pal Al. And not only did Al appear in it, HE WROTE AND RECORDED A NEW SONG FOR IT! He never released it on CD, but that's probably because the song's lyrics were so tightly wound around the movie's pitiful excuse for a plot.

Because, here's the thing: despite Al's involvement, Safety Patrol completely SUCKS! It's quite possibly the worst thing Al has ever appeared in, and that includes "The Winans' Real Meaning of Christmas." It's this horrible, generic, squeaky-clean too-many-kids-not-enough-had-acting-lessons alleged "comedy" with bad writing, worse acting, incompetent direction and a general sense of "why'd we even bother" sadness dripping from every pore. I knew this even when I first saw it over a decade ago, and back then I was a dumb eighth-grader! It's not even good enough for MST3K or Rifftrax, because they don't do comedies (every line winds up being some variation of "that wasn't funny"). "Safety Patrol" was never released on DVD, though it WAS briefly released on VHS...in 1999! In a year when EVERYTHING was starting to come out on DVD, "Safety Patrol" was only good enough for VHS! Honestly, if Disney knew what was good for them they'd have kept it buried forever in the dank, unpleasant corner of the Disney vault, alongside "Magic Journeys" and "The Black Hole." But for SOME peculiar reason, some exec at the new cable channel Disney XD has decided to dig it up, just so America can bury it all over again.

Don't believe me? The only YouTube'd clip from this movie is from one of its many tragically Al-less scenes, and it should give you a good idea of the kind of despair we're working with here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RTTZcj1IdG0

So why am I telling you about this piece of crap in the first place? Because, Al is in it. OLD school Al, before he lost the glasses and moustache (in fact, this was his last televised appearance with the old look). And co-starring with Al is the giant Weird Al balloon that some of you may remember from the 1997 leg of the Bad Hair Tour - a balloon which plays a pivotal part in the film's not-terribly-exciting action climax. And, of course, this might just be your last chance to hear Al's original song "The Ballad of Kent Marlowe" (well, semi-original. The melody owes quite a bit to "I Was Only Kidding") without resorting to a bootleg - unless of course you buy a used copy on VHS from Amazon for upwards of $3.09. And who the hell has that kind of money in this economy?

Plus, who doesn't love train wrecks? If you love Weird Al and filmed train wrecks, you'll NEVER find a better combination than "Safety Patrol," a horrible train wreck of a movie featuring an extended cameo from Weird Al. (If I had found the tape in enough time, this would have made a PERFECT AL-Tube Friday entry). It airs next Monday, May 18, twice in a row, at 5PM ET/4 CT, and again at 7PM ET/6 CT, on Disney XD. It lasts two hours with commercials. If you don't think you can stomach the whole thing, Al first appears around the 80-90 minute mark (though he's mentioned - foreshadowed, if you will - a couple times beforehand), and reappears at various points. Just when you THINK you've seen the last of him in this movie he shows up again, so don't turn off your TV until at LEAST five minutes or so before the hour.

And don't say I didn't warn you, mm-bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-HAAAAA!

Kayy911 · Post by **Kayy911** » Sat May 30, 2009 11:17 pm

UHF is on VH1Classic tonight at 5pm. Check your cable or satellite guide. I think they're re running it tomorrow too.

flusher5 · Post by **flusher5** » Tue Jun 02, 2009 9:16 pm

thrusday at 4, on CMT Extreme Makeover home edition with Al is gonna be on.
I think in some places its listed as CMTV, at least thats what IMDB says

im not too sure about this one, becuase on Charter, it says something different is gonna be on.

flusher5 · Post by **flusher5** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:01 pm

yes, Als on CMT right now

Post by **amzo39** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 10:17 pm

Thanks, Ben. I'm watching it now. Hurray.

flusher5 · Post by **flusher5** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:14 pm

I just noticed Als part is almost exactly 27 minutes into the show, (including the commercials)

Post by **FredHuggins** » Wed Jul 22, 2009 10:50 am

Al was mentioned in the new Comedy Central special "Inside Funny People," about the new movie "Funny People" and its writer/director Judd Apatow's life in comedy.

About halfway through it, Judd talks about how he was so obsessed with comedy in high school that he started his own show on the school's small radio station where he interviewed comedians. The exact quote:

"I was like a lunatic about it. It really was something that took on a life of its own. One weekend I took a three-and-a-half-hour train to Poughkeepsie to interview Weird Al Yankovic and Dr. Demento, and then slept on a bench at the train station. That's how into it I was."

So Judd Apatow is (or at least was) a Weird Al fan! Nice!

Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:32 pm

At least I THINK this is a VCR Alert (if not a Glue Your Eyes To The TV Alert): SuperNews

Post by **TMBJon** » Thu Aug 13, 2009 10:49 pm

LOL @ the notion of someone setting a VCR to record something on a channel called Current.

Post by **anthontherun** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 6:32 am

Yeah, this title was in desperate need of an update.