World of Weird Al Yankovic

Granted but he only performs Yoko Ono

I want to buy Al's house

Granted, but a demolition crew mistakenly destroys it after they get the wrong address on their orders.

I wish that Al's last concert of the tour was available for simulcast and you could see it at your local cinema.

Granted but it'd shot from the worst possible spot.

I wish i could have professional DVDs of all of Al's concert tours

Granted, but they are all scratched to hell and the data is unrecoverable on any device.

I wish I could be at the Radio City show right now with Czar tickets and passes.

Granted, but they're not your Czar tickets and passes.

I wish Al would sing Airline Amy on his next tour.

Granted but it's a 30 second "joke song"

I wish Al would tour more

Granted but he tours in inconvenient places at inconvenient times.

I wish Al would just give me a hug and stuff.

Granted but it's through an iron lung.

I wish that U62 was real