The Big WeirdAbbott Topic (An Open Letter To WOWAY)

[Well, Well, Well]

you should have used the line "i'm as angry as a bird now." i can hear that sounding alot better.

the popularity of that game astounds me.

[WeirdAbbott]

you should have used the line "i'm as angry as a bird now." i can hear that sounding alot better.

the popularity of that game astounds me.

I would use that line, except the syllables wouldn't match up ("Cause i'm as free as a bird now" is 8, "Cause I'm as angry as a bird now" is 9). And I know what you mean about the popularity of the game, my girlfriend got it on her phone and after three straight days of playing, I couldn't look at a pig without wanting to smash it

[Well, Well, Well]

no way the way they drag out the word 'free' would leave plenty of room for an extra syllable.

[WeirdAbbott]

That's true, they do kinda say free-ee don't they? I guess you're right.

[WeirdAbbott]

Original Song

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

We went out
on the town
Superbowl night
The bright lights
Two teams fight
For our delight
Then we yell
“Go team go!”
Man, it's going down
Tonight

At the pub, all my friends cheering, grinning
Down the field- six points and they’re winning
That's when some guy asks me “Who’s your team?”
But you see

I'm just here for the advertisements
I don’t even know who is playing tonight
Is it first down or second?
I don’t care ‘cause these commercials are my life
When the plays are over
Is when I’m a fan
Man these things make me spend my money
I’m just watching the ads tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Halftime
Alright!
All my friends get up
Take a seat
By myself
And my eyes are stuck
To the
big screen
It’s so much fun!
Alright!

Doritos, they just left me laughin’
Pepsi, Coke- all their ads, they weren’t lacking
The most fun that I’ll have tonight
Alright!

I’m just here for the advertisements
I don't really care who is playing tonight
Guest spots are always pleasant
Like that time, Snickers had hired Betty White
When the game is over
I’ll still have the ads
Food and drinks commercials are plenty
I’m just watching the ads tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Ad break
Keep it on!

E-Trade baby, Dr. Pepper get my hopes up
Geico’s gecko, Progressive’s Flo, and the Aflac duck
There’s Danica all dressed down, ad for that Go Daddy
Now I’m wanting a PS3 yeah

I want a new car!
Million dollars well spent
Thirty seconds in every home, well done!

Cause I'm just here for the advertisements (yeah!)
Football is the last thing on my mind tonight
Don’t know what teams are playing (what teams are even playing?)
I don’t know football, cause these ads are my life
Hey! There’s William Shatner (There’s Bill Shatner)
In an ad again!
Have the urge to spend all my money
I’m just watching the ads tonight (I’m just watching the ads!)

I'm just here for the advertisements (no football)
I don’t even care who is playing tonight
My friends would want to skip them (They want to skip them)
I say no, because commercials are my life
When the game is over
I’ll still have these ads
And I think they are worth the money
I’m just watching the ads tonight
Yeah oh

WEIRDABBOTT

[WeirdAbbott]

Original Song

Today, my woman asked why I was not at home
Last night, yeah, baby! (Last night, yeah, baby!)
Told her my reason, “I had to take my friend home last night” (Alright!?)
She said she found some things that make my story wrong
“You lied!” “You’re crazy!” (“You lied!” “You’re crazy!”)
She made a phone call, “I know where we both belong, you lied!”

There’s no need to discuss
I act oblivious
There’s nothing left to do
We’ll find out the truth
See if they will call out my bluff

I took a test on Maury
Cause she’s calling me an unfaithful douche
I took a test on Maury
And we’re waiting for the moment of truth
I took a test, a test, no sweat, I’m set, on edge, but then I’ll rest
I took a test on Maury
And the lie detector will find the truth
Be right back with the truth

“We asked you, Scott, if you had kissed another bride…
You lied”, “Oh buddy” (“You lied!? Who’s Amy!?”)
“We then asked you if you have ever cheated, and you lied”
(“You lied!? You lied!?”)
“Use your real name, when you are out there chasing dames?
You lied”, “Oh buddy” (“Your name’s not Harvey!”)
“Babe, what the hell!? We are finished, we are done tonight!
(You lied! You lied!”)

Then he said, “Not so fast,
we took another test.
We’re gonna see if you
are the dad of two.
Better go out, get baby stuff!”

I took a test on Maury
It turns out I wasn’t telling the truth
I took a test on Maury
It turns out I’m now a father of two
Thanks to that test, the test, two eggs, attest!, damn test, now I have kids!
I took a test on Maury
And I guess we all just found out the truth
Be right back with more truth!

I didn’t tell the truth
I don’t know what to do
(Truth, truth, truth…)

I took a test on Maury,
Wife found out that I am a cheating fool
I took a test on Maury,
It turns out I wasn’t telling the truth
Been with her mom, her sis, her aunt, waitress, her friend, time and again
Thanks to that test on Maury,
Everyone knows I’m an unfaithful douche
I didn’t tell the truth (the truth, the truth, the truth…)

I’m just a cheating fool
(the truth, the truth, the truth…)
Not with one kid, but two
(the truth, the truth, the truth…)
Thanks to that test, I’m screwed
(the truth, the truth, the truth…)

WEIRDABBOTT

[WeirdAbbott]

Three unique cultures coming together in one parody!

Original Song

My parents think I’ve
gone so awry
Silly mom and dad
Cause I went into the town
Close to New York’s Bronx
They thought I was a nice young man

Had to get out
Had to get a look
So I went out for rumspringa
Said “Goodbye, mom and dad”
and I’ve changed my ways
Overnight, I’ve turned into a gangsta

I'm now a street Mennonite
from East Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Now my parents just frown
The way I get around
I’ve got spinning rims on my buggy
Back home, I once was so biblical
Now, I’m a criminal
Don’t grow a beard, my face is just stubbly

I call my friends on the phone,
from my brand new home
I know that my mother would worry (Pfft)
Now, I have come so far
But I don’t need a car
When I do my drive-by churnings

Well I still dress in all black
Now, my pants sag
Don’t worry, not satanic
I go out every night
And they call me so fly
They call me the Germanic maverick.

Cause I’m a street Mennonite
from East Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Man, I was raised so uptight (tight)
It was such a fright (fright)
Adding to my dad’s furniture collection
Now that I am a man
I’ll just do what I can
Do things that are out of the convention

I'm just a street Mennonite
from East Lancaster, Pennsylvania

I'm just a street Mennonite
from East Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Should go back to my fam
Won’t end up on the slab
I won’t be here for the investi….gation
So maybe this place
is just too “in your face”
So I'll return back home, but keep my rhythm

WEIRDABBOTT

[WeirdAbbott]

Original Song

My girlfriend's a dog magnet
She loves them with a passion
Once bought, can't stop, teach him tricks, out on walks
Shaking hands, he’ll chase the ball
Man this dog can do it all
Makes her smile, never frown
Takes him all around the town
Never naps, always fun
At our feet ‘till sun comes up
But when she’s not home
and it’s just us two alone
Her “lil’ Sweetie” shows a whole different side

He likes to chase the cat
He growls and shows his teeth
He tore apart the chair
Then he smashed the TV screen
I’d take him to the pound
But he bit my rear end
He’s scaring the kids, no doubt about it
He’s a bad man’s best friend

That dog, Satan’s spawn
On the lawn, “Something’s wrong,
I see a way different dog
than the one when you’re at home!”
She said, “You don’t know
what you’re talking about, so…
my Lil’ Sweetie sleeps in your place tonight
Man I, tried to tell her so
She told me to let it go
But I tried to tell her later that night…

“He’s tearing up the grass
and he bites at my feet
He’s shedding so much hair
and he does it purposely
He chased me through the town
and he drags his rear end
right on the carpet, no doubt about it
He’s a bad man’s best friend!”

Man, she thinks I’m wrong, I know I’m right!
I just can’t prove her wrong, she always takes the dogs side
And never my side

My girlfriend's a dog magnet
My girlfriend had to have him!

“He’s a lawn digger, chews my slippers.
Babe, it's over. Runt of litter!”
“We just got him,” then she wept
“I don’t want an argument!”

“Baby just why can’t you see
all the things he’s done to me!?”
She said “fine”, I was relieved
‘Till she kicked me out on the street!

Now I tear up her grass
Go running down the street
And I chew up her mail
Cause she chose him over me
Took a dump on her lawn
Did not think it would end
But now we are through, no doubt about it
Thanks to bad man’s best friend

He’s a bad man’s best friend
He’s a bad man’s best friend

WEIRDABBOTT

[WeirdAbbott]

Original Song

Why do you have this bear trap?
It something you really need?
You’ve got quite a collection
Of spelling tests from grade three
Four thousand bags of black tea
I know you won’t drink at all
You’re doing your online shopping
Things are piling up, where’s the wall!?

All your hoarding, it blows my mind
Cause you can’t even go outside
Let’s clear it out, don’t need wind chimes
Let’s see what weird stuff we can find!

Because your stuff, your stuff, your stuff is too much
Too much, too much, too much
(I said)
Too much, too much, too much of your stuff
Too much, too much, too much

Newspapers stacked up really high
This one is from year ‘85
Fourteen pairs of fuzzy dice, man
It’s no wonder that your wife left
Your friends think that you’re crazy
Others think that you’re just lazy
Different than what Mr. Carlin said
You have more stuff than you have places*

You’ve got your toys since you were five
Twenty six watches to tell the time
A nice fur coat that’s the wrong size
The stuff you have just blows my mind

Because your stuff, your stuff, your stuff is too much
Too much, too much, too much
(I said)
Too much, too much, too much of your stuff
Too much, too much, too much

“I don't care what people say
I keep the things of which I paid
Don’t throw them out, they stay with me
Even that steak from ‘83”

Hey, so I got a question
Did you wanna keep all your belongings from your basement?
Like, what would you do with that old, busted bass drum?
Man you have too much
Too much
Huh, your stuff
Huh, too much
You have too much stuff!

So I threw out, threw out, threw out all your stuff
Your stuff, too much, too much
(Yes I)
Threw out, threw out, threw out all your stuff
Your stuff is done, too much

Oh man your stuff, your stuff, your stuff was too much
Go out and buy new stuff!
(I said)
Your stuff, your stuff, your stuff was too much
Your stuff, your stuff, too much

Hey, hey, so
Now that your stuff is done, buy a rug!
Or chandelier!

*The George Carlin joke being referenced here

WEIRDABBOTT

[ferdinand]

Will you take suggestions?