I HAVE A CUNNING PLAN, MY LORD!
HOW I LIED, SCAMMED, AND CHEATED MY WAY THROUGH SURVIVOR SECOND SEASON
I started keeping this log of my strategizing in the Survivor game after reading comments by anthontherun and Driew_La_27 about how this game was less exciting and there wasn't as much throat cutting and backstabbing going on as there was in the first season. By keeping this log, I planned to be able to show them that there was indeed quite a lot of scheming going on, but that it was more subtle and really, I was the one controlling it all!
Everyone always talks about the importance of alliances. Ever since Richard Hatch used his alliance to bring himself to the final two and win the game, alliances have been crucial to the game of Survivor. But it was my mission during this game to destroy that myth, the myth that says you MUST have an alliance in order to win the game. I believed that it was possible to make it to the end without any true alliances whatsoever.
Instead, I would form several separate alliances, all phony and all temporary. I would make a point of breaking EVERY SINGLE alliance that I formed and making sure the people that I backstabbed knew that I backstabbed them. Why? Because if I made it to the final two, nobody could say that I betrayed them, because in fact I would have betrayed everyone in the game! I would have had no true loyalties.
Another part of my strategy was learning from the mistakes of the last season of "Weird Al" Survivor. One of the biggest mistakes that those players (Driew, anth, and dingo specifically) made was talking too much. They bragged when they won immunity challenges and they talked trash way too much. This not only made them targets for elimination, but it revealed way more about their own strategies than they should have revealed. We all knew that spacedingo was alienated from the Hamster tribe because they all talked about it openly. Speaking of dingo, that's another big mistake that Driew made. It was extremely foolish to go after the strongest player on his tribe. Instead he should have brought him into the alliance and USED his vote to the alliance's advantage. By going after dingo and being so quick to trust anth, Driew snuffed his own torch.
By using this strategy, I was able to control EXACTLY who got voted out EVERY SINGLE TIME. I was in the driver's seat the entire game, and nobody even noticed!
So, on to my strategy:
BUILDING THE BRIDGES
As I said, a big part of my strategy was building many different false alliances with as may people as possible. This would give me many different choices as to how to proceed at any point in the game, and it would also put me in complete control of every member's vote.
First, I approached Dr_Dad. It was an easy sell to say that we were the two biggest targets on our tribe and that by staying together we could ensure our survival in the game. He bought into this idea very quickly and I allowed him to claim ownership of the idea as well as the tribe. He organized a massive Yahoo group, complete with links, a chat room, and other stuff. He already had a huge target on his back, and he just worked to make it bigger. This was great! He was my own personal human shield. My own tribe didn't even CONSIDER voting me out as long as Dr_Dad was still around. He absorbed any votes I would have gotten from my tribe.
The next move was to make a phony alliance with ccs (I approached him), CurlyFries (he actually approached me!), and alberta1 (who knew nothing about Survivor - "You will find controlling her will not be difficult!" - Senator Palpatine in Star Wars). ccsyaoran and I had a phony "secret alliance," as did Dr_Dad and I. At this stage of the game, however, I was working completely honestly with Dr_Dad. By actually sharing with him my PMs from other tribe members and communicating openly and frankly, I was able to gain his trust.
Of course, for my own amusement, I threw in subtle hints as to the fact that I was playing him all along, such as referring to myself as "Jeremy Fairplay," a take off of the infamous schemer from "Survivor Pearl Islands," who lied about his own grandmother's death in order to gain sympathy from his tribe mates. I even at one point TOLD HIM that I had considered turning on him. He never caught on until it was too late! >:)
FIRST TRIBAL COUNCIL
So, here was the plan: CurlyFries (who I will now refer to as CF from now on), ccs, alberta1, and myself would vote for stargazer. Meanwhile, I had Dr_Dad get stargazer and the42guy to vote for ccs. I knew this wouldn't eliminate ccs, but it would give him previous votes with which I could use against him later in the game. The plan was for us to first get rid of the dead weight (stargazer) and then at the NEXT tribal council, I would switch sides and vote with Dr_Dad and the42guy. Since the votes would be tied (3 for Dr_Dad, 3 for ccs), ccs would be voted out since he had the previous votes. This first stage went exactly as planned, but the fall out of this first Tribal Council created a series of circumstances that I was able to exploit to great success!
SECOND CHALLENGE
Two critical events took place during the second Immunity Challenge. First, I INTENTIONALLY took an extremely long time coming up with an answer. I had one all along, but I pretended to panic and post comments on our Yahoo board about how I couldn't find any answers. At almost the last minute I did submit an answer in order to ensure that the Hamsters won, but by acting dumb, I lessened the target on myself even more and placed it on Dr_Dad, who was bragging about having already found almost all of the answers!
The other thing that happened, WHICH WAS NOT PLANNED, was ccs became so upset with Dr_Dad for voting for him in the previous TC, that he started talking about throwing challenges in order to eliminate Dr_Dad. This was all the bait that I needed to turn CF around and get him to help us vote out ccs. Of course, I was able to talk ccs out of throwing challenges, but CF didn't have to know that. I insisted that ccs wanted to throw challenges and that that was a HUGE risk to take just to get rid of Dr_Dad. CF agreed and during the next challenge (the interview one), he was convinced that ccs tried to throw it when ccs submitted only ONE line - and a pretty lame one at that!
THIRD TRIBAL COUNCIL
What I was most worried about here was CF and alberta1 turning against me once they saw that I had betrayed the alliance and voted against ccs. Of course they couldn't really do anything about it, since Dr_Dad, the42guy, and I had the majority, but after the merge they could have easily turned on us.
But when ccs started talking of throwing challenges, I used that to get CF to see that we needed to eliminate ccs. Once again, I allowed CF to claim responsibility for deciding that we eliminate ccs.
ccs was my first real victim and he wasn't very happy about it. But no hard feelings, ccs! It's just a game!
FOURTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
This one was a no-brainer. I got everyone to vote out alberta1. Yes, alberta1 would have been easier to control than CF was, but seeing as she wasn't around much, she wouldn't have been able to help me advance much in the game.
THE MERGE and THE FIFTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
Even before the merge, Dr_Dad and I agreed that we should approach Elvis and get him in on our alliance, but much to our surprise, Elvis approached us first! He agreed that as the three biggest targets our best bet was to stay together. After the merge, M3m3s3 contacted CF and tried to form an alliance. She told him that the Weasels were planning on getting rid of Elvis and me first. After CF shared this bit of info with me, I shared it with Elvis and he agreed that we needed to get rid of Melissa, since she was trying to betray him. Although CF wanted to get rid of Elvis and Dr_Dad, I was able to convince him that if he stayed with the Weasels, they would surely vote him out as soon as they were done with Elvis, Dr_Dad, and me.
So, it was CF, Dr_Dad, Elvis, the42guy, and myself against Melissa, doggans, Mr. Carl, and aintafraidofy3k. Elvis claimed that he could also get lookatthenumbers to vote with us. Of course, we know now that this was just a cover for their secret alliance. With my extra vote from the Immunity Challenge, Melissa was the first to go after the merge. However, something strange happened. Elvis received an unexpected vote. We never did find out who voted for Elvis, but that vote ultimately lead to Elvis' demise in the game.
SIXTH TRIBAL COUNCIL (the fun one!!)
Here's where the game got wild!
After we eliminated Melissa, Dr_Dad began getting VERY cocky and overconfident. He kept saying how we were unbeatable and how we would sail to the final three, when we would have a BATTLE ROYAL between him, Elvis, and myself.
I was getting really annoyed with his overconfidence. I never liked it in Survivor when people get overconfident. I continually brought up the notion that Elvis might be "playing us," and every time Dr_Dad would claim it was impossible. He refused to even entertain the idea that his plan was flawed. He completely missed the fact that he was working with no only one, but FOUR traitors!
I approached doggans and told him that I was getting tired of how easy everything was happening and how I wanted to shake things up a bit. I promised him my vote at Tribal Council would go towards eliminating either Dr_Dad or Elvis and that I'd help doggans get to the final two. I claimed that I didn't care about winning the game and I gave him a slew of reasons to trust me, including laying out Dr_Dad's entire plan for the rest of the game!
The one thing I didn't expect during the Tribal Council is that Elvis actually DID turn on us! He and lookatthenumbers voted against me. Meanwhile, doggans, aintafraidofy3k, CF, and I voted for Elvis. Since the42guy and Mr. Carl forgot to vote, Dr_Dad was all alone in his vote for doggans.
Here's where anth did me a BIG favor! He didn't read the final vote! Because of this, I told Dr_Dad that that final vote was MINE and that I did in fact vote for doggans and it was actually CF who turned against us! He was very skeptical, and for good reason, at first, but in the end I managed to convince him that I was still loyal to him and that we could still turn it around!
All the while, I was thinking "Hasn't he learned anything from Johnny Fairplay, the Robfather, or Rob Cesternino?" >:)
SEVENTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
This was a tricky one. I had managed a crafty Immunity Challenge win. CurlyFries, doggans, and myself were all in the final three. Since I had separate alliances with each of them, I PMed both and told them that if the two of us pick opposites (Friend and Foe), then one of us was guaranteed to win Immunity. They both PMed me back saying that they would take "Foe," leaving me to take "Friend" and win Immunity. What to do with the Immunity was another question.
I could have used it to easily wipe out Dr. Dad, which would have made me vulnerable at all future TCs, but which would also eliminate my strongest competition during ICs. This would also clue Dr. Dad and CF into the fact that I was scamming them. OR I could have voted out one of the Weasels with my two votes (plus Dr. Dad, CF, and the42guy's), thereby evening up my two alliances and proving to Dr. Dad that I could be trusted. This would also keep Dr. Dad in the game as a human shield for myself. The problem here was that doggans could get upset that I betrayed him and reveal that I was plotting against Dr. Dad.
The solution: Don't make the decision!
I decided to split my vote. One of my votes went for Dr. Dad. Along with doggans, Mr. Carl, and aintafraidofy3k, that would make 4 votes. The other vote went for aintafraidofy3k, which when combined with Dr. Dad, CurlyFries, and the42guy's votes would also equal 4 votes. If it came down to a tie, Dr. Dad would be voted out. But if some of the Weasels forgot to vote, then y3k would be voted out and I could blame the MIA Weasels instead of myself. In either case, when Dr. Dad questioned my as to why we only had four votes as opposed to the 5 we should have had, I could just lie and tell him that CF must have turned on us again!
For the first time in the game, I did not control who was getting voted out. This was an important move, since Dr. Dad was already slightly suspicious of me. Dr. Dad and y3k's fates lied in who voted and who forgot to vote.
Of course, after several hours of waiting for the results, my mind kept racing, wondering if I'd made the right decision here. I thought many times of changing my votes to 2 votes for Dr. Dad, but finally I decided to keep my votes the same, because I found another way to make certain Dr. Dad left the game, without making it look like I voted for him.
Dr. Dad asked me to contact CF and tell him to vote for y3k, which I DID. He also asked me to contact lookatthenumbers, and see if I could sway him to our alliance. Well, I DID contact lookatthenumbers, but it was not to sway him, but rather to tell him to vote for Dr. Dad! It was all set now! With doggans, y3k, lookatthenumbers, and my vote, Dr. Dad would be easily eliminated without making me look dirty. I was able to easily explain to Dr. Dad that CF and lookatthenumbers must have betrayed us! Of course, he never found out (until now) that it was actually I who betrayed HIM! >:)
EIGHTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
This next round was a bit trickier and required some diplomacy on my part. I knew I wouldn't win Immunity since I wouldn't be around for the challenge, so I had to work my magic other ways. First, I contacted doggans, telling him what a great team we've made and now that we've eliminated our two biggest threats, we should continue to work together. Doggans agreed, and asked whom we should vote out. I suggested voting out Mr. Carl, with the rationale being that he doesn't participate in the game and it would be more fun competing with people who actually were TRYING to win. Doggans foolishly bought into this hoax, and agreed to get aintafraidofy3k to vote for Mr. Carl as well. Meanwhile, lookatthenumbers had won immunity.
I then contacted CurlyFries and the42guy and got them to vote for doggans, along with lookatthenumbers, to whom I lied and said that doggans was targeting him for elimination in the game. That made FOUR votes. Mine, CF's, number's, and the42guy's. I knew that Mr. Carl wouldn't get more than three votes, even IF he failed to vote. After doggans was eliminated, the rest would be like taking candy from babies.
NINTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
Now that Elvis, Dr. Dad, and doggans were out of my way, the rest of them would be simple to eliminate. I was easily able to convince lookatthenumbers, CurlyFries, and the42guy to vote out aintafraidofy3k. No problem!
TENTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
In continuing my pattern of cutting out those with whom I've made alliances, I got CurlyFries (with his double vote) and lookatthenumbers to vote with me to boot out the42guy, my biggest threat still in the game. I still don't know why those three didn't team up and vote me out, now that I had a FREE PASS in the next challenge and was therefore almost guaranteed Immunity next time around. Oh well!
ELEVENTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
Yep, I was right! Not only did I cinch the next challenge, but I was the only one who even played, unless you count Drie...I mean Elvis!
This was too easy, now! With all the real competition out of the game, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. I could pick any of the three remaining players to dispose of. I chose lookatthenumbers.
TWELVTH TRIBAL COUNCIL
Well, since Mr. Carl had been MIA for most of the game, our new host, anth, decided to cancel the final Immunity Challenge and Tribal Council and just move right on to the final two - without Mr. Carl. It doesn't matter anyway, because I would have easily won the final challenge and eliminated Mr. Carl anyway. CurlyFries was wise here to go along with the plan. Because if he made me have to work at another challenge to make it to the final two, I may have taken Mr. Carl to the final two instead. Anyway, here I was at the final two, with nothing but CurlyFries standing in the way of me and a million bucks!
THE FINALE
Well, no big surprise at this point! I outwitted, outplayed, and outlasted everyone in the game. Now it was up to the jury...sort of. Truthfully, I still controlled the game, and the jury would vote for who I wanted them to vote for. It was a simple problem. I knew that CurlyFries' answers to the jury questions would be brief and not well thought out, like most of his PMs to me during the game. So, the contest truly depended on how I answered the questions. I had two choices:
I could be entirely honest for the first time since we were marooned, or I could continue to lie and deceive people. If I lied, and the jury had been talking about me already (specifically Elvis, Dr. Dad, and doggans), they would easily figure out that I was lying, which would cause me to lose significant ground in earning their votes. But if I answered honestly, they may see me as a scoundrel who was willing to cut throats in order to win. I had confidence that if I told the truth, and revealed all of my lying and manipulating in totally arrogant, Richard Hatch-esque way, they would respect the fact that I indeed played a much better game than anyone else, especially Curly "Coat Tails" Fries!
So, with the final questions posted, all that was left to do was await my prize.
And that's how I won Survivor Second Season. With cunning, wit, and absolutely NO real alliances in the entire game. So next time you think alliances are SOOOOOO important in winning Survivor, think again! >:) I'll see you all in Survivor All Stars, where if you want to win, you'll need to be as cunning as I've been this game!
~Jeremy Fairplay (a.k.a. Duckfather (a.k.a. Fat Naked Duck))
I KNEW it! *throws the engagement ring in Jeremy's face*
I suppose he got a ring too huh?
