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Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 4:54 am
by TMBJon
Now that's how you fake an Australian accent, Meli! Take note!



Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 4:57 am
by TMBJon
And now, presenting the award for Forum Sabateur, please welcome WOWAY Award Nominee the Dingo!

The following was submitted by the Dingo:

This is the award for Forum Saboteur. Actually, the full name of the award is "Best Forum Saboteur for when the Mods and Admins aren't doing enough sabotaging themselves"

And the nominees are:

Bruce The Duck

And the winner is:

Bruce The Duck!

Truly, this was a much deserved honor. *grumble*

Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:00 am
by TMBJon
Well, folks, we've managed to go two hours into the show before addressing the obvious elephant in the room. One of our beloved members seems to have taken a leave of absence from the forum. In order to pay the Duck proper tribute, I have compiled the following montage to remember some of those we lost since the last WOWAY Awards were held.

Jimmy, dim the lights please...


Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:06 am
by TMBJon
Already a winner tonight, please welcome WOWAY's sexiest member, Grom!!!!!

The following was submitted by Grom:

The WOWAY crowd falls silent with awe as a magnificently dressed man enters the stage. Beneath his beautiful tailored suit, muscles can be seen bulging with every move he makes. One look at this man, and the world knows. This is Grom, WOWAY Aussie extraordinaire.

“Good evening all. Grom here.” His voice was like angels, but the sexy Australian accent with which he spoke didn’t really come across in text. Unless you count when he adds the U to words like "colour". But nobody really does. The audience, lost in Grom's deep and soulful eyes, knew the joke was getting old, and quickly, so they stopped admiring Grom (as best they could, at any rate) and focused on the words he spoke. The words he spoke with an angelic voice and sexy accent.

“We arrive now at what is arguably the most important WOWAY Award in all existence. So sought-after and prized is this award, I once saw a grown man–” Grom pauses for a brief look towards Stephen “–break down in tears upon discovering he wasn’t nominated for…”

A well-timed but completely unprepared drumroll begins from somewhere.

“Al Gal of the Year; 18+ Division!” Applause fills the auditorium (Jon’s garage is nicknamed the auditorium). Whistles and cheers unparalleled by even “Married… with Children” audience members ring out in isolated pockets, to the delight of all who enjoy high pitched squealing.

“Now, before I read the nominees, a brief explanation of the Award. This prestigious WOWAY Award is for the over-legal-age female who best demonstrates her devotion to our beloved Mr. Yankovic, be that through baking confectionery, through re-Tweeting any and all Tweets from Weird Al a hundred thousand times each Tweet, or by lathering themselves in his used bathwater obtained through a pipeline of questionable legal standing.

The Award is not, despite what I was told before accepting the offer to host in exchange for cocaine money, a competition in which I furiously and intensely study images of the nominees in less-than-family-friendly photos and/or video. It’s solely devoted to the intensity and passion they devote to ‘Weird Al’ Yankovic. I believe the rules for the under 18 division may be different, as Jon was in charge of that Award's rules and tallying.”

Audience members are visibly concerned for the host’s mental state, not to mention his motivation behind hosting the Award presentation. Chris Hanson received a phone call regarding a predator he could Katz.

“So, without further ado and incriminating rumours, the nominees for the ‘Al Gals of Legal Age who Should Send Nude Photos and/or Videos to Grom’ Award are…

Magic Salad
Orthography Enthusiast

In the interests of spanning out the award ceremony, a “best of” clip of each Al Gal’s previous exploits is shown after Grom reads out each nominee. A deeply bitter Stephen walks out, muttering something about “stupid sexist” and “might as well get a sex change after all.” Everyone carries on with their lives.

“And the winner is… Oh! The only one to actually send me nude photos of herself in the form of ‘Just Photoshop my face on porn if you’re so freaking desperate, you freak!’ Facebook messages……


The crowd applauds (a standing ovation, in fact) and some more of those annoying whistles and whoops still manage to occur. Kristine walks up to the stage, while some band plays annoying music. Grom misread Kristine’s look of “Give me the Award and go far, far away from me” for a “Man, you’re so sexy and I just wanna make out with you from dusk till dawn” look. Grom’s face still shows the scars. Kristine's acceptance speech is nothing terribly memorable, although that may just be the rapid blood loss combined with overheating from wearing a foam muscle suit.

"Enjoy the rest of your night, ladies and gentlefubah!" Grom could be heard mumbling from backstage as the next presenter took the stage. "The next Arwaawawa besmiggle de bufwehf."

Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:09 am
by TMBJon

Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:15 am
by Vinkesh

Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:20 am
by TMBJon
Sorry about that, Vinkesh. Hopefully you'll get the recognition you deserve next year!! But in the meantime, I will award you with the wrath of AlejandraDD since her loving boyfriend did not win Al Man of the Year! Have fun with that!

And now it's time for my personal favorite category of the show, Al Gal of the Year (-18 Division)! But since I couldn't present it, I had to defer to the second biggest pedophile on the forum, STEPHEN STAVER!!! WOO!!!!!!!



Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:24 am
by amzo39
Well, gee! Thank you all. I think. I have to decide on whether this is a good thing or not. More info in the sidebar.

- The Award Whore

Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:24 am
by TMBJon

Re: WOWAY Awards - The Show!

Posted: Mon Jan 25, 2010 5:31 am
by TMBJon
Ladies and Gentlemen, from the accounting firm of Ernst & Finklestein, please welcome recent WOWAY Award winner, Wizzerkat, accompanied by Harvey the Wonder Hamster!!