World of Weird Al Yankovic

Granted, but they're both about suicide, prompting Al himself to commit suicide

I wish I could make my wishes Al related

Granted, but they're all Al Gore related - you save the Polar ice caps, where the heck is the Twinkie-Wiener Sandwich?

I wish I could get an advance screening of Al's new video, without the security squad killing me or erasing my memory.

Granted but you leak it and everyone hates you FOREVER!

I wish I could have two hamburgers with onions & cheese, and my wife wants a chicken butty

Granted, but the line is chicken patty. You ruined the joke and everyone hates you forever. And there's no onions on the cheeseburger, by the way.

I wish I could give you some curly fries and a medium root beer with your last order.

Granted, except the root beer is REGULAR
(Actually I'm pretty sure it's sandwich)

I wish I could go on a grapefruit diet

Granted, but it backfires. And now you're a grapefruit.

I wish Al was watching the SpongeBob SpongeBash marathon with me.

Granted, but you both fall asleep half way through...and you wake up to discover your apartment has been looted...

I wish Al would appear on "The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson" and preform a parody of "White Horse" by Taylor Swift with lyrics about "beating a dead horse"...

Granted!

But he doesn't, since he doesn't take parody suggestions.... except for that one time.

I wish Al would release an up to date video collection on DVD.

Granted, but it's HD-DVD. And nobody owns those anymore.

I wish Al would perform a small tour after all the "Internet Leaks" are released. And that I went to one of the shows.

Granted but it a tour BUS! Am I doing this right?

I wish I could be killed by Al